To the editor:

I am quite humored by the ignorance and complete lack of driving skill that I encounter here in Brownwood every single day!

Turn Signals aka Blinkers:

In most places in America blinkers are standard features on a vehicle. I think our local car lots are selling blinkers as expensive upgrades that only few in Brownwood can afford. Blinkers are great items to have on a car as they help you alert other drivers as to what your intentions are. ie a left turn or right turn. Lack of blinker usage probably means that the driver doesn’t have a flipping clue as to what their intentions are and therefore should not be behind the wheel. According to the Texas Drivers Handbook a turn signal, blinker, should come on a least 100 feet from the turn, not one inch if at all. Also something most people don’t know, you don’t have to come to a complete stop in the middle of traffic to make a right turn!

Green Lights:

We need to get TxDOT to come set all the green lights a little longer for us. You see in Brownwood the green lights are too short because you don’t actually get to go when the light turns green. You get to wait because in Brownwood a red light doesn’t mean STOP; it really means “three more cars get to go on through.”

The Four-way Stop:

Oh, dear Lord! I go through three four-way stops on my way and from work everyday. It’s like people freeze up, lock down, and lose any and all normal brain activity at a four-way stop! They turn out of turn and get this, get out in the middle, stop, then wave someone else on through. I have seen the greatest amount of pandemonium at the four-way right there at Wendy’s, Home Depot, and Wal-Mart; is there an invisible force field upon crossing onto that particular parking lot, sucking the brain out of people’s head, turning them into complete imbeciles? To help the directionally challenged, Wal-Mart has painted these things called arrows on the pavement. Arrows are pictures or symbols that point you in the directions that you should go. When driving the wrong way down the lane, don’t look at the person going the right direction as if they are the fool and then shoot them the bird because you didn’t have enough room to continue going the wrong way! And when you are cutting across the parking lot at the speed of sound, don’t honk at, flip off, and cuss out the person who is actually driving correctly in the lane.

The Traffic T:

This must have been Brownwood’s prize behind door Number 3 in the “Stick It to a Sucker” game show. And what a prize it is! Pretty sure this was a project that was designed at 2 in the morning it was due. I think I’ve seen cows cut a trail through a pasture better! Coming from Kroger going toward Wal-Mart I have lost count of how many times I have seen it happen and I have personally been almost run off the road into the embankment of the CVS parking lot about eight times by some twit in the “left turn only” lane insistent on going straight. Folks again, nifty little arrows pictures showing exactly where to go! Check into it.

Fast Lane Slow Lane:

OK, the left lane of traffic is for those of us who actually choose to drive the speed limit. If your vehicle is not capable of this, you have no clue where you are going, or if for some ridiculous reason you are rebelling against society and are choosing to drive 20 mph in a 40, either park it, pull over and look at a map, or get it out of the left lane!

The Center Left Turn Only Lane:

This is not a third lane of traffic. Shocker, I know! How many times have we almost seen a head on collision because an intelligent person was actually using if for the legal use, a left turn only lane; then here comes meat head traveling or stopped in it, trying to merge right into traffic because they were to impatient to wait for a clearing so they could pull all the way across? Just yesterday I was going to lunch, coming up 377 going toward town and some bonehead in a black SUV pulled out of a business next to the tracks and traveled 45-50 mph in the center turning lane for a least 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile.

The Cell Phone:

HANG IT UP AND DRIVE THE STINKING CAR! If you are challenged in the area of hand eye coordination and your brain can not handle doing more than one thing at a time; turn the phone off! I do find it comical though that it’s very rare that I pass an officer that doesn’t have a cell phone stuck to the side of their head. I even passed one TEXTING while driving the other day.

Residential Speed Racer:

The moron enjoys seeing just how fast they can get the car from their driveway to the end of the street as children are out playing. I wish there was a cop around everyday when the little purple truck in my neighborhood is trying to break some kind of a land speed record and endangers the life of my and others’ children.

I’m glad that we wanted everybody to know that the officers would be out “writing citations for fireworks violations” on the Fourth! Man do I ever feel so much safer now getting into my car to go to work or take my wife and children some where knowing that some poor chump got a citation for popping one of those dang old firecrackers when day in and day out motorist are breaking the law; endangering the lives of others, causing and almost causing wrecks and nothing is done about it.

Toby Bowers

Brownwood