Well there I was, sitting in a small group listening to a presentation from a very informative speaker, when …
Clang-a-dee clang-clang! Somewheres close by, a Klaxon clanged out an alarm. Holy cat jugglers, Batman, we’re under attack! Dive! Dive! Danger, Will Robinson! ME-109s at 12 o’clock!
Oops, heh heh, my bad. No attack, just someone’s cell phone going off — loudly. My, it was an aggressive little dude. The cell phone’s owner, who was in the small group listening to the same speaker I was, answered it. Well what would you ‘spect?
Cell phone goes off, you just have to answer it, or the earth will stop spinning.
“Hello … blah blah blah,” the owner — I’ll call her Johnson — said into the cell phone. She commenced to having a conversation while the speaker pretended to be oblivious to the interruption and kept on speaking.
Highly inappropriate of the speaker, who should’ve halted the presentation until Johnson had finished her phone call. A little courtesy, a little common sense, goes a long way, don’t you know.
Another option: we could have all gone outside where the speaker could’ve continued speaking, and we could’ve continued listening, without infringing on the cell phone conversation.
Speaking of cell phones … another person I’ll call Johnson told me he’d been in the Penney’s store with his wife, Mrs. Johnson. “You know how you are in a store with your wife — you just kind of stand there …” Johnson said. You got that right.
Well, Johnson noticed a young woman with two children nearby. She was yakking it up on a cell phone. “You gotta be (expletive) me,” the woman said into the cell phone, according to Johnson’s account. “That (expletive) shouldn’t be doing that.”
“Can you imagine what those kids hear at home if they hear that in public?” Johnson asked.
An innocuous little item in last week’s column generated more responses than any column I’ve ever written. (I got two.)
A hateful, hurtful person (and you know who you are, buddy) challenged my account of our “hot water heater” going kaput.
“There’s no such thing as a ‘hot water heater,’” the critic — I’ll call him Johnson — said. “Get it right.”
Johnson explained that it’s a “water heater,” not a “hot water heater.”
“If the water’s already hot, why do you need to heat it?” he demanded.
“Aw gee, there’s a critic in every corner,” I whined. “It may not be technically correct, but everyone sez ‘hot water heater.’”
“Ignorant people don’t,” Johnson said.
Later, I spoke with a local businessman — I’ll call him Johnson — about a couple of unrelated matters when he said, “by the way, I’ve got to spank your hand …”
And this Johnson set me right about my “hot water heater” fo-paw. I told him the other Johnson had already dressed me down over the matter. “Everyone sez ‘hot water heater,’” I whined.
Some people can be so sensitive.
But son of a gun, it proves that these two read my columns. They never said anything about being fans, but I’m going to just go ahead and add them to my fan base, which has got to be approaching 30 now.
I found this quote in an Associated Press article last week from San Antonio to be quite annoying. The article was about the cold, snowy, icy weather that had hit.
I don’t recall anyone inviting this yah-hoo from the north to come to Texas and make fun of people for not liking the cold.
“But a tourist from (the north) found the huddling masses laughable,” the AP reported.
“In lightweight jackets near a shuttered Alamo, (Johnson and Mrs. Johnson) were incredulous, and a tad amused, at Texas’ response to the icy weather.
“These people from San Antonio come in with their big parkas. I thought, ‘Oh, come on,’” said Johnson, chuckling.
“I just died laughing,” said (Johnson) of (a northern city) as he stood near the Alamo in a lightweight jacket and jeans.
Now I axe you. Who invited this yah-hoo to come down here and dis Texas? If you think the cold, snow and ice are so great, just go on back up north where you people can pretend “we know how to drive in it!” (Sure you do.)
And, hey you, Mr. Johnson from the north, you get cold, just like people in Texas do. You know you do. Are you too insecure to admit it? Sounds to me like there are some issues going on there.
Steve Nash writes his column for the Brownwood Bulletin on Thursdays. He may be reached by e-mail at email@example.com.